5.19.2012

At some point you just have to say Goodbye.

I've neglected posting here for quite some time and I suppose it's because there isn't really much to say anymore. I've basically completed my transition. Most of the anxiety around expectation and presentation have disappeared and I mostly just live my life. I've realized that no matter how worried I am about people finding out I'm trans (and why should I care?) I can't do anything to alter their behaviour. People will talk behind my back. People will talk, and whisper and point and use my identity as a little piece of juicy news to move themselves up the gossip ladder. I can do nothing to stop this. I can ask people to keep what they know to themselves but as I found out time and time again you just can't trust people to keep their mouths shut. So now I just live my life and stop worrying about who knows what. At this point I've stopped caring and good thing too cause it freed up a lot of my time!

When I started this blog I wanted to give other guys another perspective, a Canadian perspective. When I was looking for information during my own transition I found it difficult to find experiences from my own country. This doesn't mean that American or European experiences will be different but the medical systems are VERY different and so I wanted to find more information about what I could reasonably expect from doctors, hospitals, how long I might have to wait and of course if and how much transition would end up costing.

I will continue to post about these things when they happen: physical changes, trans "incidents", and anything related to trans medical  procedures. What I will no longer be posting about is sociological observations about gender. I see things. I have opinions but I don't want to get into an online debate about who is right and whether or not I am paranoid. I do not appreciate patronizing comments so if you have some of those please visit this post. I'm not here to get into a tangle of words or debate whether or not you might think I'm paranoid. I was weary about starting a blog for this exact reason. I've removed some posts and refused to publish some comments so consider this your notice dear readers that this will not become a forum for airing your prejudices. I welcome comments about your personal experiences shared or different from mine is great and those comments WILL be posted. The more experiences I can offer to other FTM guys the better.

So I am sort of saying goodbye to you all as I expect that posts will be irregular from now on as I await the next leg of the journey. So until then I wish you all well and hope that in these pages you can find something that will help you on your own journey. Thank you for sharing your stories and taking the time to read mine.