Looking Back, Looking Forward.

The first Christmas I celebrated after I started my transition was spent away from home as a newly single guy. It was pretty lonely. I didn't feel anything but miserable and that feeling lasted well into the new year. I was a pretty sad sack this time last year and even though I had a lot to look forward to I couldn't see past the immediate misery of everything I was lacking instead of realizing what was all around me.

I sit here now a year later and look at everything I have and what will be happening in 2012 and I feel like I have grown up yet again. Transition is definitely a journey in its own right but over the past year I really feel as if I have definitely defined who I want to be. I have a loose plan to become that man.

Being on my own for the past year has been a challenge but has really helped me become a man in my own right. I have been single for the first time since I was 18 and I am surprised at how much I have accomplished. I have had to trust myself to make my own decisions and deal with the consequences or successes of each decision. I have had to choose my own path and decide on my own future without the influence of responsibilities such as a partner, a mortgage, or children. I find I am in a position a bit unique from my peers many of whom are busy raising a family. I am at a point where the world is my oyster, a point most people experience at twenty.

Looking into the year ahead, I want to build upon the confidence and success I feel I have accumulated so far. I have made some wonderful new friends over the past year and hope to strengthen those ties in the upcoming year. I have stepped up to take on new responsibilities at work and hope that will offer me not only some financial security but some new experiences and maybe even a little bit of travel as well. I have a few opportnities to expand on my art career and I plan to maximize those in any way I can.

All in all the past year has been challenging but successful. I hope to have all my medical procedures completed this year including revisions to my chest to fix the dog ears under my arms as well I hope to finally have my hysterectomy. I have pending referrals for both and hope that both can be completed quickly and without incident. I will try to be more diligent in writing this year but as things slow down and become more routine I find there is less to discuss with regard to transition. It doesn't take long for a new normal to establish itself and for the preoccupation of your own transition to wane.

So here's to another year of adventure and success, challenges and lessons. Good luck to everyone and thanks for reading!

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