8.21.2011

One Year, Three Months on T

15 Months on T
I can't believe how fast this second year has gone. Summer is nearly over once again and come spring I will have been taking testosterone for two years. It seems far now but I know it will be here in no time. It's been a crazy busy month kayaking, fishing, visiting, and of course the big boob-off. As for the rest of the month, this is how it shaped up:

Acne: Well this is pretty much staying the same. The antibiotic treatments are working to control the breakouts but what I eat definitely has an impact. I won't be posting any more about my skin unless there is a significant change.

Body: My chest is healing nicely which you can read about when I post the Two Month post op update. I finally feel like I have the body I was supposed to have. I wore a shirt and tie for the first time since top surgery: it rocked. I might consider wearing a shirt and tie to work at least one day a week. I also love that I can do pushups and lift heavy things. I love that I don't feel tired and weak anymore. Part of that is likely my blood pressure increase and the increase in red blood cells. On the downside of that I sweat a lot. I am sure my core body temperature has increased as I can't remember the last time I had cold feet. Physically I feel pretty damn good.

Injection: Well this is getting boring, again since there have been no significant advancements or injuries resulting from self-injection there's really no point in talking about it anymore. But if something exciting happens of course I'll keep you posted.

Voice: I am really starting to love my voice. Although I don't use it too much, (I seem to have become pretty shy and soft spoken since transitioning) I do like the way it sounds. I like that I still sound like me but just a different version of me. No one has ever mistaken me for someone else and everyone who knows me and/or know me before still recognizes my voice. Yeah they tell me it's deep but not so much that I sound like a different person. Next up...getting some volume behind it so I don't feel like I might break it if I use it.

Hair: It's coming. Slowly but surely the hair is growing in. I have increased the amount of protein in my diet and I am noticing that my body has been using it to make hair. Things start out fuzzy and then get really fine fuzzy then the sparse dark hairs grow in a s things thicken up. I am happy to report that the chest and belly are getting really fuzzy and the happy trail is working its way up toward my belly button. I noticed hair on my toes and I think there's a good chance it is also going to spread down from my wrists and start growing on the tops of my hands as well. Most of my hair is fine and fairly light so it's hard to tell sometimes. In other news my long awaited moustache is still coming in at a snail's pace.

Mood: My mood is a swing. Seriously. Some days are good and some are bad but for the most part life is pretty good. I feel like I have a handle on  my emotions and I am more content on a day to day basis. I am definitely not as quick to get angry as I used to be. I also seem to deal with anger a lot differently than I used to as well. I find I have the urge to do something physical to "burn it off".  I find doing something physical is the easiest and quickest way to dissipate anger. I am much better at letting things go and realizing what I should and shouldn't be worrying about. I no longer make someone else's behaviour my responsibility and try to just live my life for me and do what will make me happy. I'm a single guy and I am trying really hard to be a solid, ethical, consistent and kind man. Some days it's easier than others.

Socialization: I have been having troubles with the whole idea of stealth. I thought that perhaps a monthly update on some of the "passing" into society might be good here since I am eliminating discussion about other physical things. I am still trying to decide whether or not to "out" myself at the office. I despise being the topic of gossip but realize I have no control over what others say, all I can control is my response assuming they address me directly. A couple people at the office are quite derogatory towards others and have a narrow and rather snobbish view of others. I find it difficult to listen to them degrade others in our town and can only imagine what the gossip would be if they found out a transexual was working amongst them. This is a pretty small town still and gossip spreads like wildfire and I am sure that a lot of people that I meet know what I am and either don't care or keep their opinions to themselves....at least until they can share it with someone else behind my back. I'll have more to say about his in another post.


Other: I am staying really busy and making new friends. I am starting to enjoy this place a little more now that I have some of my own friends and opportunities at work. I might be the only one of my kind in town for now but once in a while a brother shows up to keep me company. I have things to look forward to every week (not just Fridays) and will hopefully make some more new friends and settle into my own northern rhythm.

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