Mind your Ps and Qs

It had to happen eventually and thank goodness for comment moderation. While I try to keep this blog honest about the challenges of being trans, I also strive to keep a fairly positive outlook on things. So when some strager comes along and posts a comment that is intended to help/save/piss me off I try to see the lesson in it. Or I just laugh hysterically. I received one such comment this morning from someone you all know and love to hate: Anonymous. Anonymous felt the need to tell me how sad they felt for me, how upset they were that I couldn't find happiness as such a beautiful woman....hello? Did you even look past the first page? Not very often was I "mistaken" for a woman! They suggested I should sue my surgeon for "butchering" my chest. Thanks for your constructive pity but please, save it for someone who needs it. (Tell me again, why isn't there a sarcasm font?)

Not everyone understands what it is to be transgendered. Not everyone understands what it is to be a homosexual. What irks me when people who are perfectly comfortable in the own straight cisgender universe decide to tell me that they are sad I don't feel the same way they do. Poor me. Yes God gave me a brain and I use it...everyday. I think for myself and have my own opinions. I don't expect other people to share them and I certainly don't pity them if they have some of their own. Here's the part I want you to hear: I don't care if you don't like what I am doing. I am happy. This is my life and my body. I am an adult an I feel no need to explain myself to you. Thank you for your concern. Now please be on your way and find someone else to pity who might listen to your lame excuse about caring about their well-being. Oh, and if you plan on making comments Anonymous, try this link: http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/.

That said I can get back to writing about my life. If you follow this blog and my journey, I want to say thanks. Most of the comments I get are supportive and encouraging and I intend to keep this a positive hate-free place for all people no matter how they identify. I know there are some misguided individuals out there who are threatened by what they don't (or refuse to) understand. There are people out there that just wantto spread hate and misery. For those of you considering being haters please, visit the above link. Aggression comes from fear. I get that. But getting sucked into a battle over who is right, or better, or more virtuous is stupid. What ever happend to agree to disagree and live and let live. Every adult has a right to make their own life choices and have sovereignty over their own body. Stop worrying about what other people are doing and look after yourself.

Once that's done, consider putting something positive out into the world. Get out of your small town or your uncaring city mind set and look around at the people with whom you share your life, your neighbourhood, your community. What can you do to help someone else get what they need to be happy? Hug a homeless person. Smile at someone who looks like they are having a bad day. Buy flowers and hand them out one at a time to people who look sad....men or women. Compliment a complete stranger. Give something you love to someone who has nothing. Eat with that person sitting alone. Visit the old folks home with soft shortbread cookies. Talk to a young person and make them feel important. Give the wait person who's having a crappy day a $20 tip. Listen to someone vent without trying to solve thier problems. The people who need you the most are the ones you usually try to avoid. You might be surprised to find what you can learn from closing your eyes and opening your heart.


Anonymous said...

Ugh. I hate when that happens. I usually only get "you better leave your husband so he can get on with his life and be happy" or some comment from religious people who try to fix me.
And now that I closed my page down for the masses, I don't get that anymore.
Well, the stupid people are out there, what are you gonna do about it? Just laugh.

Mike said...

I'm sorry that Anonymous said those awful things. I'm a young transman and your blog helps me a lot with understanding things from another trans individuals point of view.

Damon Wille said...

You are a daily inspiration to me (well, when I get a fresh new update. *grin*). Thanks for writing and thanks for your spirit!

Echo Brooks said...

"Anonymous" is right up there with "not me" and "I don't know". And as much as we want to not care about their hateful (albeit many times hidden in good intentions)comments, we do care and it does effect us. That being said, when it happens to me I remember how many people's lives I have positively impacted in this journey and the numbers far exceed the anonymous totals. I am certain you can say the same.