One Month Boob-Free!

To be honest, my recovery from this surgery has been more difficult and painful than I anticipated. I was in quite a bit of pain for the first three weeks though not enough to warrant taking pain meds. My skin is still very sensitive and some days it makes wearing shirts absolute torture. But ice is great and works wonders for the burning sensation and when the aching gets to be too much I will eventually take an ibuprofen.

Things are progressing along with the actual recovery. The incisions are feeling pretty good and since quitting the paper tape and switching to Vitamin E cream and Bio-oil, I am finally beginning to feel like a real boy! I have to tell you though I still feel like I am forgetting something when I get dressed in the morning....I feel so naked under my shirts!

I started giving the area around my incisions a bit of a massage this week. The stitches are dissolving and I haven't seen any sign of them coming to the surface. When I massaged the area tonight after a shower I did feel a snapping which I think was the stitches breaking under the skin. Hopefully that will help alleviate some of the puckering and rigidity under the incision.

One thing I am kind of concerned about is the hard areas under my skin. There are a few places where the tissue feels really dense and tough. I am not sure if this is swelling or an accumulation of fluid left over from the bruising. I know that when I had an incision under my chin it took weeks to return to normal but now two years later you can hardly see or feel the scar. I am definitely going to ask my doctor about it and if need be I will seek out some ultrasound therapy if it turns out to be scar tissue.

I am really excited about how things are healing up. I was thinking that there hadn't been much change but then I took a look at the photos I have been taking every few days and from the first reveal to now, things have really changed a lot! I guess when you see something every day you don't notice the changes so much. After looking at the photos I was pleasantly surprised bu how well things are progressing. I look forward to documenting the experience and sharing it with you!

It has been really liberating to finally feel like things are coming together. It has taken a long time for me to come to terms with being transgender and to finally be in a place where I am truly happy with who I am has been a very long and often painful journey not only for me but for a lot of other people as well. I think realizing that I can't make anyone love me, or accept me has been a really hard lesson. I just have to live to be true to myself and the people who can accept that are the ones that truly matter in the end. That's a lot easier to say than it is to live. I am lucky that my family have been supportive. I can't imagine how hard it must be to transition without the love and support of your family.

I have been getting some really positive feedback through comments and I just want to say thanks to everyone who has written to let me know that they read this blog. I really appreciate your comments and I hope that you can get something for yourself from my experience. I know a lot of times the internet will be the first place you get a chance to really "see" what being transgendered is like for someone else. It is nice to know that you have shared similar experiences and feelings. It makes me happy to know that there is comfort between us in these small moments knowing that we are not alone.

1 comment:

maddox said...

Hey Marcus, I just found your blog, very interesting story. And congrats on the surgery!

I would really recommend getting silicone scar strips or a silicone gel - the vitamin E oil didn't do anything for me. Also, if it is still uncomfortable keep wearing an ace bandage - I did so for about 4 weeks. And if there's some pain you could try a mild topical anesthetic like Bactim - doesn't sting and slightly numbs the area.

Of course everyone is different, it's just my experience (if you're curious about it there's a lot more info on my blog - neutrois.wordpress.com).

Good luck!