6.21.2011

3.......2.........1.........Top Surgery!!

Well it's finally here. After 357 days of waiting, tomorrow I will finally be having my top surgery. Last night out with the tits was spent eating sushi with my mom and later contemplating gender identity, sexuality, gender politics, and family dynamics with a couple of my brilliant and beautiful cousins. I am so proud of how smart and critical they are of what society tells them they should be. It was a real blessing to sit down and have an open honest conversation with my family.

Today was the last day of feeling awkward about my chest, the last day of feeling betrayed by my body, the first day of really feeling hopeful for a happy future. I took my vitamins. I had my shower. I took one last long look at the beasts in the mirror and I feel absolutely no regret about having them removed. I have delayed allowing myself to believe that this day would ever actually arrive so thinking that in just a few hours the boobs will be gone forever is still kind of surreal. I won't really believe it until I wake up and they are gone gone gone.

I have kept myself really busy the last few weeks to try to avoid thinking myself into an anxiety attack or depression and it worked, right up to the last minutes. Now months of anticipation and years of shame will disappear in only a few hours and I will finally wake up a GI Joe in a GI Joe Box....more or less.


3 comments:

Damon Wille said...

Congratulations! I can't wait to hear about life without the two heavy burdens!

B.G. said...

Congratulations! I hope your recovery goes well. Your body is now yours. Enjoy your new, taller posture, too!

jimjampar said...

So excited for you. Hope all is well. Let us know how the "unveiling" goes. :)