Three months on T

Month three is here and life just keeps throwing curve balls. I have neglected the blog lately as I have been busy with volunteer work and we were away for a friends wedding. I celebrated my 36th birthday last week and went to see the Yankees play the Jays, eat hot dogs and drink ice cold beer. Ah, what a game. Here's your monthly update and look forward to more consistent blogging!

Acne: Well the acne is getting worse but I have asked around and other guys say that this will subside. I have been lucky that most of the worst of it is on my back and chest and since I don’t yet run around topless it is easily hidden under clothes. I am thinking I will look into going to the tanning salon again for the winter to try and curb the outbreaks. I have found that it has helped with acne in the past so will give it a try again. Also Pears glycerine soap the orange coloured stuff seems to be working its own little miracle.

Body: The shoulders are here the shoulders are here! My body is slowly becoming more masculine and finally I can see and feel some of the changes. I am getting really excited to see my body shape changing even to the point where I can be caught by surprise. The biggest changes are still in muscle mass. My arms and legs are getting more muscular. The shape of my face seems to be changing as well and possibly my hairline. Still not having periods and since it’s been three months now will only report if for some reason they show up out of nowhere. I put myself on a bit of a diet, focusing on trying to lose some of this chubb. I feel like it’s working as my jeans are fitting better. Other clothes are not fitting as my arms and shoulders get bigger and the fat from my ass and hips slowly makes its way to my belly. Hoping that an active winter will help trim me down. I am definitely feeling like I will be comfortable when this puberty is finally over. Body temperature is warmer. Water retention is a bit of an issue and has contributed to a slight increase in blood pressure. Passed the first round of blood tests.

Drawers: Things are changing rapidly here. Bigger for sure, sensitive, and starting to understand why men think about sex all the time and why pubescent boys carry binders books or jackets and how advantageous baggy jeans would seem….

Hair:  The man hairs are growing in, finally! This month I finally noticed a significant change in my body hair. I am getting dark hair growing in on my thighs finally and my legs are starting look more masculine. I am getting a noticeable happy trail from my belly button to my pubic hairline and that has started working its way down the inside of my thighs. Still waiting for the hairy backside but I am definitely getting fuzzier. Like one guy said: the hair is creeping out like a vine. Facial hair is filling in on and under my chin. Side burns and a moustache are a ways away but perhaps not nearly as far as I had once imagined. Also got a few hairs on my chest, unfortunately they are around my nipples so they will disappear when I have my surgery.

Mood: Mood has been hit and miss this month. I am really enjoying the time I spend alone but I find I am really irritable and little things have started grating on my nerves, particularly the noise of other bodies. Whether it’s someone eating their lunch and chewing with their mouth open, sniffing, sneezing, coughing, snoring, licking, scratching, anything seems to be the most annoying thing ever. Maybe I am developing super sensitive hearing??? I am hot and cold with my interactions with other people as well alternately happy and friendly with annoyed and irritated. I am a difficult person to like and live with right now. I am still avoiding physical contact for the most part and feeling very insecure if I am not binding, or if I am naked.

Voice:  Voice is definitely changing. I can’t say in my head it sounds that much different but I am interested to hear how it sounds when it finally cracks and settles into its male pattern. My family and friends have noticed it dropping and I can’t reach the “girly” octave anymore. I wish I had been recording changes but guess I could start at three, six, and twelve months and monitor the changes. Tried singing in the car to work today, more of a disaster than ever before, the bucket I have been using to carry around my tune apparently has a hole in it.

Other: Passing more and more these days not having as much trouble with people mistaking me for a woman anymore, which is good. Hopefully my anxiety about it will settle down and I can regain some confidence in being around people again. I am pretty antisocial and not much for hanging out unless it is with small groups of people I know. I am officially a male now having the NWT recognize me as such when I changed my drivers licence and produced the proper paperwork from a doctor.

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